"Ask and ye shall receive." (John 16:24) How many times have we heard that Scripture? How often do we smile and nod and profess to have the faith strong enough to claim that statement? Growing up in a Christian home, attending church my whole life, I must have heard, read or even said those words hundreds of times through the years. But it was not until recently that I had to face the reality that maybe I didn’t completely believe it!
My husband Steve has faced some major physical challenges in the past five years. After surgery, a couple of grim diagnosis and medically related job layoffs, his doctor finally told him that he could no longer work and recommended filing for disability. We did so immediately, but fear hung over us like a dark cloud. We had heard repeatedly that it was common to have a claim denied at first, and even if it was approved it could take up to two years to start receiving benefits. How would we survive that long on the small amount I made? Where would rent money come from? Would the utilities get shut off? How could we possibly get through this having to wait so long?
Then one day as I was praying for God’s provision, I remembered hearing that we should pray specifically for what we need. "Why not?" I thought. "I am a child of the King. My father desires to give me good gifts." ( Matthew 7:11) From that day on my prayer became this. "Lord, if it is Your will to provide for us in this way, please let Steve be approved for disability. I know chances are slim that it would happen any time soon, but you are a God of miracles! I ask that you would bless him even further and let him be notified of his approval the week of his birthday!"
For months I repeated that heart cry multiple times a day, reminding myself that no matter what the outcome, God was in control. But underneath the brave face and profession of faith was the frightened child who kept asking, "What are we going to do?"
Every time I laid my burden at the feet of Jesus, it seemed only a few steps before I turned around and snatched it back up again. It was not until April rolled around that I finally came to grips with my error and repented for my attempt at controlling the situation. Matthew 6:31 & 32 encouraged me to "Take no thought saying, ‘What shall we eat? Or What shall we drink, or How shall we be clothed?’….for your Heavenly Father knows that ye have need of all these things."
And so I began to rest in the knowledge that He knew what we needed and cared enough to take care of us, and I began to feel peace. I should have known that it was all in the plan when time after time we would be almost out of food or money or even toilet tissue! And somehow at the last possible minute, exactly what we needed would be there. Through the loving help and support of friends, family or church we always "squeaked" by. On paper, my paychecks were never enough to cover the bills. But miraculously we never lost electric service or missed paying rent.
The week of Steve’s birthday came and I waited for the miracle to happen. Nothing. Each day the mailbox was empty. But I resolved to be at peace no matter what the outcome, and I continued to pray. Two days later a letter arrived announcing his approval and it was dated the day of his birthday! I was stunned. That couldn’t be a coincidence! Gratitude and shock meshed together overwhelming me with emotion. But once again, I had to repent. Why was I surprised that my prayer had been answered? Not only had God granted my specific request, He had taken the extra step to date that approval letter exactly ON Steve’s birthday. It was as if the Lord was giving me a gentle nudge to remind me that He could and sometimes WOULD do even that which is…"exceeding abundantly above all we ask or think…" (Eph 3:20
It seems strange that I would need to ask God to increase my faith to the point where I could at least believe He will keep His promises. How far I have yet to go!! But Jesus knows my weakness and the desire I have to grow in Him. So I can rest again in knowing that He will help me where I am lacking. I can ask in faith, believing that He hears me and He WILL answer. It may not always be in the way I hope for, but then again sometimes it just might exceed my expectations. How great is our God!
